https://aviationhumor.net/the-100-most- ... lanations/
What is a callsign? It’s the name a pilot or crew member is called so they don’t have to use their real name when talking through communications equipment. It’s for both operational security and identifying the aircraft/pilot. There are three rules in coming up with a callsign:
1. If you don’t already have one, you will be assigned one by your “buddies”.
2. You probably won’t like it.
3. If you complain and moan too much about 1. and 2., you’ll get a new nickname you’ll like even less!
Agony – A man named Payne
Air-Fix – Pretty vain and looked like a model apparently… i.e. air fix model. He was an engineer though , not a pilot – hence the fix part…
ALF – Annoying Little F**k
Alphabet There was a new guy in the squadron by the name of Varsonofy Krestovozdvizhensky. After the first day, everybody just called him Alphabet.
Apex – During F-16 FWIC, this guy was supposed to be a docile Red Air target for his fellow studs trying to pass the intercepts phase. However, he insisted on aggressively shooting at his fellow classmates and screwing up their intercepts. Thus “Apex”, after the Soviet AA-7 missile.
Apollo – Last name Creed
Baldy Laughlin 1993: Female student married a classmate who got Vipers (F-16 aka “Lawn Dart”) BALD-D: Bangs A Lawn Dart Driver
Bambi – This pilot, who is now flying F-15s at Tyndall, hit a pregnant deer with his nosegear while taking off in a T-38 at Columbus. Needless to say, there were guts all over the runway and they had to close it for half an hour to clean-up.
Banana – Last name Hammock.
Beagle – Kept ‘bouncing around’ on landings like an excited beagle puppy.
Berlin – Taxied his aircraft into a wall while making a turn.
Blaze – Caught on fire in the base kitchen
Blow – Last name Jobins
Burbank – New F/A-18 driver shows up at first squadron and says “Hi, I’m Hollywood” Experienced pilots taken aback by Topgun wannabe declare, you’re no Hollywood, more like Burbank. The c/s stuck.
Caveman – During CAF survival training, guy enjoyed the worst of weather. After sleeping outside in the spilling rain and freezing cold, he woke quite rested. Instructor said, “He’s a f^cking caveman!”.
Coma – a very slow talking Southern guy
Captain – F-16 Driver in Japan – real name was James Kirk
Chocks – F-16 pilot started taxying before the chocks were removed
COOTS – Constantly Over-emphasizes Own Tactical Significance
Cypher – Broke through radio interference on a training flight.
DD – Dead Dave – Was actually clinically dead during water training accident… recovered of course.
Dice – Pilot who takes chances and has come close to being shot down on many occasions
Dingle – Last name Berry
Dino – An NFO from EA-6 days, this young lady had a habit of talking really, really fast and in a high pitched voice whenever she got even a little excited. The resulting sounds were just like the noise made by the Flintstone’s dog, Dino.
DRADIS – E-2 Hawkeye pilot and avid fan of the TV series Battlestar Galactica. DRADIS is the BSG word for “radar”.
Duck – It took a while before he got the hang of evasive maneuvering, so he was a sitting duck
ECM – Enlisted Chick Magnet
Elvis – This guy was always hard to find when you needed him, so when someone was looking for him, other people reported sightings (“I saw him over at the…”).
Electroman – This guy was like electricity with the ladies: he took the path of least resistance.
Elvis – This guy was always hard to find when you needed him, so when someone was looking for him, other people reported sightings (‘I saw him over at the…’).
EPU – For those unfortunate pilots who inadvertently fired their Emergency Power Unit on the ground.
Exxon – In pilot training on his initial T-38 solo, this guy was so excited and in such a hurry that he kind of blew through the preflight. Once cleared for takeoff, he ran’em up and got the “mission complete light”. The jet hadn’t been refueled on the turn!!
FORD – Found On Road Dead. After a mission, had a few drinks at the Sqn at Shady J. Then goes and passes out on the grass outside the Sqn.
FAG – Funny accent guy.
Fan Song – Has very very big ears…. like the Fan Song SA-2 Fire Tracking radar
Flowmax – The bladder the size of a thimble and a propensity to urinate at the slightest provocation.
Free Willy – Prowler ECMO who used the relief tube, and forgot to zip up until he stepped out of the aircraft.
Flatline – Passed out and had a heart attack in Kunsan during an exercise while wearing MOPP 4.
Giggles – Female pilot, also known as “gigs” always laughed in formation. Not necissarily laughing at anything in particular, just laughed.
GBIT – Get Back In The; Female Pilot; Last Name “Kitchen”
Gear Down – Shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. A reminder not to forget a little detail once missed in the simulator.
Ghost – last name was Casper
Glory – Last name Hole
Grumpy – Not a morning person, and not too tall either. One of Snowwhite’s seven dwarfs.
Gucci – The guy was quite drunk in a bar, met a girl and subsequently vomited….in her designer purse. Apparently it was a Gucci purse.
Hurricane – A female pilot named Katrina.
Holyness – Last name LaPope.
Headless – CDR, USN, S-3 Pilot … the guys last name was “Horstman”
Hannibal – As in Lecter – One of our Squadron (21FS) Flight Surgeons, also an F-16 Pilot who, while flying a six-ship of Vipers trans-pacific, nauseated us with stories of becoming hungry when smelling cauterized human flesh in the operating room.
Hyde – It comes from Jeckyl and Hyde, Jeckyl when sober and Hyde when drunk. Everyone at Kunsan seemed to like Hyde better.
Hi-Ho – Last name Silva.
Inch – Dutch pilot who is 1.65 meters tall (5’4”), which is VERY short
Intake – This guy had the largest nose I’ve ever seen!
IRIS – I Require Intense Supervision. Female NFO who would get blackout drunk and wander off to do stupid things.
Iron Maiden – Female pilot who listened to Iron Maiden almost everyday.
Icetea – Cool and sweet female RIO
Jaws – Colonel Kevin G USAF Ret – used to fly F-15’s. He would never ever stop telling stories, so they called him Jaws!
Judge – Bachelor’s Degree was Pre-Law.
Jugs – First female tacair pilot at Miramar — ’nuff said…
Key – Instructor pilot that starts every lesson with, “The Key is”.
Kanga – Capt. Rew
Killer – Given to a Marine F-4 RIO that locked up on the wrong target during an east coast missile shot. Ended up shooting down a Navy A-4.
Krod – Spell it backwards…
Krunch – The sound the landing gear makes when it rips off after landing short on the runway.
Kasper – Always popped up in different places and scared the s*it out of everyone
Legend – Failed an exam that no one had ever failed in history
Lick – One of the greatest name plays ever. Last name MaWhinney.
LAMB – Notorious lady pilot who always had something low-cut when in civilian attire, thus LAMB (Look At My Boobs)
Lingus – His first name is Kenny…you can figure out the rest…
Link – Mono brow, neanderthal hairy, flat forehead, large knuckles. The missing link between ape and man.
Lunchbox – Ate anything left in the fridge for more than one day
Me-So – Last name Horn
MAHB – Man of hot & beauty – usually when the pilot’s wife or girlfriend is really looking good…
Marx – First name was Karl, and he hated communists.
Magellan – poor sense of direction
Mo’Gas – When during takeoff, always used to shout “More Gas! More Gas!”
Myzone Got drunk and tried to catch a lady, to which she just simply said, “Get out of my zone!”
NAG – Not A Guy First Marine Corps F/A-18 female weapon system office (WSO)
Notso – Fighter jock – last name Bright!
Nuts – Embarrassing incident in the ‘O’ bar
Omelet – Dutch pilot who wanted to be called Bouncer because he used to be one at a club in Holland. Bouncer in Dutch (Uitsmijter) also means grilled egg. The squadron decided that Bouncer sounded too cool so they called him Omelet. Lesson Learned: NEVER ask for your own callsign.
Oh My – ‘Maj. ‘Oh My’ Gaud.’
OMAR – Oh Man, Another Retard
P.E. – Premature Ejection – pressed the ejection switch in an aircraft while it was still on the runway.
Pyro – Forgot to “Fence Out” on LAO at Osan. Pickled off a few flares in the closed pull up and started a fire on the field!
Pampers – An F-14 backseater who suffered “nozzle failure” during flight.
Pickle – Came back from a flight one drop tank short…
Plan B – When chicks walk in to the bar, they see this guy and know what their “last resort” is.
Poptop – Otherwise super-stick in the squadron who managed to inadvertently jettison not one but two canopies.
Rudy – a short Marine Prowler Pilot who actually walked onto the scrub team at Notre Dame.
Razor – Fellow pilot who always made the sharpest turns and sharpest manoeuvers in combat training.
Rebound – Has been in so many rebound relationships that the name stuck. As a double entendre, it is believed that his plane must be made of rubber, since he hasn’t figured out landing… yet.
Rico – Intense, and constantly armed to the teeth… like the psychotic penguin from the Madagascar movie, only hotter and female
Rotor – Ran Off The Only Runway
Rushmore – Ellsworth AFB, SD B-52 driver – got bagged after climbing Mt Rushmore and sitting on Lincolns beard
Shrek – 6 foot 2 240 pounds – loud when sober, intolerable when drunk.
SLAW – Shops Like A Woman
Salad – First name Cesar
Salesman – Apparently a guy who had a hard time closing the deal. (use your imagination)
SALSA – Student Aviator Lacking Situational Awareness.
Siesta – When drinking has a habit of falling asleep at bars.
T-bone – dropped a practice bomb through a cow
TBAR – That Boy Ain’t Right
Teflon – Hawg driver at Spangdahlem. Named after his smooth moves while in the air and on the ground
TOOT – Instructor pilot who always started by saying “The Objective Of Today” is…
Tumble Weed – 6 Foot 6 Vegitarian helicopter pilot formally with “Weed” as his callsign. He fainted at a Change of Command Ceremony….. thus “Tumble Weed”.
Trash – Last name is of course White.
Uta – U Talk Alot. Given to a pilot in the squadron who would NOT shut up. Hence, Uta.
UTAH – Up Tight @$$ Hole
Vapor – A Viper pilot who landed with less than 100lbs of fuel left.
VAL – Very Annoying Lieutenant who was an F-16 driver in Japan
Viper – “Very Idiot Person”
Vodka – Pilot’s name was Smirnoff
WiFI – 2LT that drives a brand new Porsche…his wife bought for him (or at leave financed it)….WIfe Financed It
Werewolf – Always looking for the full moon! Even where there isn’t one!
YANG – Yet Another Non-Guy. Apparently female.
Yoda – Was a short Irishman who was in every fight
Zulu – Always got time calcs wrong in flightschool
Zen – Eagle driver, got it when he squeezed off a shot with his gun during training and hit the target – without using the computer
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